Here’s my review of David Deida’s iconic book: The Way Of The Superior Man ~ A Spiritual Guide To Mastering The Challenges Of Women, Work, And Sexual Desire
Men can learn a lot about themselves by clearly analyzing their problems. The problems for married men come when they start applying the same system to their intimacy – by mistakenly thinking that they can “help” their wives analyze their problems too and find “solutions.”
This sort of thinking makes a man tell his wife what he wants from her, and then he may ask her, “What do you want from me?” He tells her to think about it and let him know.
All this seems fair to a man, but of course it is not. It is a no-win situation for his woman. Why? Because what she really wants is a man who can figure it out for himself. She wants a man who loves her, and escorts her with his loving, without having to ask her what she wants all the time.
David Deida’s bestselling book does a very good job of showing the modern man how to navigate the challenges of women, work and sexual desire. He comes from a research background and his insights will inspire men and women both to seek to really have a go at building true intimacy in their marriages.
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Some insights from the book:
“Any time you talk to her and expect her to analyze her mood and situation to the point of being able to fix it, you are talking ‘masculine’ with her. She can do it, she might even be better at it than you, but it won’t make her a happy woman.”
“Don’t expect your woman to do it to herself [analyze her feelings to fix them]. It would be like forcing you, a man, to read romance novels or watch love stories at the movies. Sure, you could do it. But it probably doesn’t touch your core the way it touches hers. And, if she made you do it, over and over and over, you would begin to resent her. If she felt that the basic problem in your life is that you just don’t watch enough soap opera on TV, you would think she was crazy.”
“You have probably noticed that your woman’s radiance can change instantly. One moment she might seem dull and weary. Then perhaps after you praise her or surprise her with a gift of love, suddenly she is glowing. She looks 15 years younger. The lines in her face have disappeared in seconds.”
“Our culture has become so anti-feminine that many women are trying to deny their feminine core desires and adopt the masculine way of dedication to mission. By denying their feminine essence, such women are predisposing themselves to emptiness of heart, depression, and bodily symptoms of disease.”
“The desire for intimate loving is as central to your woman’s life as the mission toward freedom – financial, psychological, and spiritual – is to yours. Think of how many hours a day you dedicate to your mission and compare that with how many hours a day you spend serving your woman’s deep desire for the magnification of love.”
Part One (A Man’s Way) covers:
- Stop Hoping for a Completion of Anything in Life
- Live With an Open Heart Even If It Hurts
- Live As If Your Father Were Dead
- Know Your Real Edge and Don’t Fake It
- Always Hold To Your Deepest Realization
- Never Change Your Mind Just to Please a Woman
- Your Purpose Must Come Before Your Relationship
- Lean Just Beyond Your Edge
- Do It for Love
- Enjoy Your Friends’ Criticism
- If You Don’t Know Your Purpose, Discover it, Now
- Be Willing to Change Everything in Your Life
- Don’t Use Your Family As an Excuse
- Don’t Get Lost in Tasks and Duties
- Stop Hoping for Your Woman to Get Easier
Part Two (DEALING WITH WOMEN) covers:
- Women Are Not Liars
- Praise Her
- Tolerating Her Leads to Resenting Her
- Don’t Analyze Your Woman
- Don’t Suggest that a Woman Fix Her Own Emotional Problem
- Stay With Her Intensity – To a Point
- Don’t Force the Feminine to Make Decisions
Part Three (WORKING WITH POLARITY AND ENERGY) covers:
- Your Attraction To the Feminine Is Inevitable
- Choose a Woman Who Is Your Complimentary Opposite
- Know What Is Important in Your Woman
- You Will Often Want More Than One Woman
- Young Women Offer You a Special Energy
- Each Woman Has a “Temperature” That Can Heal or Irritate You
Part Four (WHAT WOMEN REALLY WANT) covers:
- Choose a Woman Who Chooses You
- What She Wants Is Not What She Says
- Her Complaint Is Content-Free
- She Doesn’t Really Want to Be Number One
- Your Excellent Track Record Is Meaningless to Her
- She Wants to Relax in the Demonstration of Your Direction
Part Five (YOUR DARK SIDE) covers:
- You Are Always Searching for Freedom
- Own Your Darkest Desires
- She Wants the “Killer” in You
- She Needs Your Consciousness to Match Her Energy
Part Six (FEMININE ATTRACTIVENESS) covers:
- The Feminine Is Abundant
- Allow Older Women Their Magic
- Turn Your Lust Into Gifts
- Never Allow Your Desire to Become Suppressed or Depolarized
- Use Her Attractiveness as a Slingshot Through Appearance
Part Seven (BODY PRACTICES) covers:
- Ejaculation Should Be Converted or Consciously Chosen
- Breathe Down the Front
- Ejaculate Up the Spine
Part Eight (MEN’S AND WOMEN’S YOGA OF INTIMACY) covers:
- Take into Account the Primary Asymmetry
- You Are Responsible for the Growth in Intimacy
- Insist on Practice and Growth
- Restore Your Purpose in Solitude and with Other Men
- Practice Dissolving